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My realization and the experiences.

I knew I was a gay when I was about twelve (12) to thirteen (13) years old. I couldn’t just ignore it, I mean I didn’t know what the word gay meant until one of my cousin explained it to me when we were watching a movie- a straight movie by the way. From that day on, the word gay stuck on my head and I was literally attracted towards men. I just couldn’t resist on the internet. Whenever I surfed, I searched only of the gays. it was like I was hungry for the truth, the truth to finally reveal myself.
I have had many of the peep shows, watching naked men bathing- I did and I know I shouldn’t have done that but you never can top your temptations off.

“Gays are born, not made”.

My first experience had to do something with the seduction. Yes, I was seduced. When I was not more than ten (10), I had a bigger friend probably like a brother who was in the middle of his teen; we were heading back to our home from the school when he suddenly stopped me and told me to put his d*ck into my mouth. I didn’t know what to do! He forced me and told me that it would taste as good as a candy- and I did it. Heck, it wasn’t a candy and didn’t even taste like one. It remained a secret forever and was never talked about (I still meet him somewhere around).

I dated two (2) of my seniors when I was in the high school (discreetly). They were not gays but were bisexuals (most of the Bhutanese are bisexuals). After they graduated, I dated one of my batch mate, who was not more in the kind of a relationship but for sex. We didn’t hook up that far.

I graduated my high school and then met a Japanese gay via internet. We met in person and then started to hook up for even more. He was the best damn thing that ever happened to me. We dated for about two (2) weeks until it was his time to leave the country. And now I miss him so much.
I get numerous calls from the unseen ones whom I have met on the net (internet). We would just talk, tease each other on the phone and then wouldn’t really care to meet (conditions apply). The gayey days would just end like this in Bhutan.

“And I am still in the search for that someone who really owns my heart”.

The secret and The hardship.

“Everyone has secrets; everyone else does. It’s just they hide it inside and don’t speak out.”
I have a secret too, which I have been living with for almost about eight (8) years from now. Well I am a gay and this is my till-now-unrevealed secret. I am the ‘in the closet’ kind of a gay.

“Homosexuality is illegal in Bhutan in the penal code of Bhutan (Art. 213 & 214) and is punishable with a prison sentence from between one month to one year.”

Being a Bhutanese gay is so hard and miserable (ordinary straight Bhutanese will find it cool). You do not have the freedom to be what you are. Unnatural sex is illegal in Bhutan and if be found you could be jailed for about several months, which I think is so funny. Well you see, how is being gay unnatural? I think it is so natural. See, god has made us (people like me) this way, so how could we be unnatural?

Warning: BUT gays, please do not argue with the law, if you get caught, you will be in much trouble later.

I do not know exactly how many gays are there in Bhutan neither did I do a survey to find out. However, I know there are more than thousands- most of whom are very much discreet. Thimphu has the maximum number of gays and I have met them, which consist of not the Bhutanese only but the foreigners as well.

Meeting/being gay isn’t easy in the country, you just can’t go out in the town with your partner; you can’t hold your hand with your partner’s or someone’s who’s SEX is as same as of you – people are going to laugh at you (and your partner) , which I think would be very embarrassing for both of you.

Internet and cellular phone would be the greatest inventions for the gays here in Bhutan; for it is the only way to find/trace the gays in the town. Many websites favor the Bhutanese gays. At least each free gay websites would comprise a gay from Bhutan (this I assure you). So finding gays have been made easier. My days as well are wasted on the computer searching them and my voucher calling the unseen ones. You won’t really do that at least after you find out the consequences, but for some, it’s worth it!
so, this is my secret!

p.s. you all might want to know who I am but because of the stereotypical Bhutanese society, I cannot. Therefore, this work had to be done anonymously.
Thank you for reading.

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